Saturday, December 09, 2006
8:58 PM


GIVE ME A BREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK OMGGGGGGGGG
GIVE ME A BREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK LAHHHHHHHH

I CANT STAND IT BEING AT HOME ANYMORE.

My mom suddenly ENJOYS picking on me. She naaags at every single thing I do, I alter my skirt, she says its short. IT ISNTTT SHORTTTT!!! SHE HASNT SEEEN SHORT. AHHH!! I wear shorts at home she and she'll scold, okay fine so i'm not supposed to wear shorts. And when I don't wear tudung when I go out she'll nag, OMGGGGGG. I BET SHE DIDNT HAVE THAT MUCH PRESSURE WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG. AHHHHHH WHY DO I NEED TO GO THROUGH ALL THIS? I know she wants me to be some good girl, and I'm definitle NOT doing a good job so just give me a break. I want to be at home and have some peace. I lock( my non existent lock that is. my fricking room doesnt have a fricking door, instead theres this shade thing. gah sooo much for privacy)myself in my room, she says i spend too much time on the comp. I JUST WANT TO BE BY MYSELF.. OMG................................................... Let's just pray I won't turn havoc or something. I need a break. I need a break. I need a break. I REEEEALLLYY NEED A BREAK. Ahhh send me to kampong or something, let me spend time with my granny there, learn stuff from her or something, i dont know. I miss my late granny. Life was fun when she was around.. I had someone to sleep with in the afternoons.. ahhh i miss her so bad... im getting emotional already ahhh. it's been almost a year since she left us.. the only time i get to see her are in my dreams.. and when i do it seems so real. but i have come to terms with it.. i must redha.. yeah.. i must.. i guess thats why i keep myself occupied, so i wont think of the past? heh heh. oh God, I'm actually crying. what an emotional wreck i've become.

i guess all this nagging and stuff shows how much she cares about me huh.. ahhh now i feel obliged to change for the better and i guess i should. as cliche as it sounds, i have to dont i. i got to change and appreciate others even if they dont appreciate me.

i shall hug sylvester and go to sleep...
aih